Mistakes & Miracles
by Smarty4eva
Summary: Life is hard,and it's about to get a lot harder.
1. Chapter 1

Empty.

It was two am when Samantha Spade finally made threw her apartment door. Flipping the light on she noticed it seemed emptier than it did when she'd left this morning. Not empty in 'things', no, it was more of an emptier 'feeling', like an old abandoned mansion that know one cared about anymore. When she pressed the play button on her answering machine she found out why.

"Hey Sam, it's me...you might have noticed some of my clothes and stuff are gone...well I guess there's no right way to say this, but uh, things just aren't working out for us. I think you know that already, I get the feeling your not ready to settle down and I am...anyway, I'll pick the rest of my stuff up on Saturday. I know this is really sudden and I'm sorry, I really thought we could've had something...I guess not. Bye Sam."

She pressed the erase button. It actually wasn't sudden for her, she knew it was coming. Chris was a good guy, she liked him a lot, but he wanted a family, she didn't, end of story.

She slipped out of her work clothes and into an oversized T-Shirt, she grabbed a blanket and curreled up on her couch feeling lonelier than she thought she'd be. Breaking up was no big deal to her, she actually expected it now. But this time it was different. Chris meant a lot to her, she could almost say she loved him, no not almost, she loved him and it hurt her to hear his sad and stumbled goodbye.It hurt even worse to know she never told him how she felt.

Within five minutes she was asleep and morning came all to soon. She shuffled to the kitchen, got a cup of her beloved coffee and thought about Chris. She found herself missing the way he put way to much sugar in his coffee and how his lips moved when he read the paper. She missed his love for soccer and how he never could pick the right colored tie.

She sighed and told herself to get it to the back of her mind and go to work. after all, work was the only thing she had left.

The office was normal, it was early so not very many people were around, some of the lights weren't turned on and the hallway was comfortably dim.

As she did every morning she went to the break room for her second cup of coffee. That's were she and Martin usually met up since they pretty much had the same schedule. He was of course there, pouring the dark liquid in a mug and adding one packet of sugar. She smiled as he said "Good morning", and got her down a mug.

"I'm glad we found that kid, but I sure coulda used a few more hours of sleep." He sipped from the steaming mug.

"Mmm, I second that. But I guess that's why there's a weekend." She began to walk in the direction of their cubicles.

Danny was already at his computer, most likely checking emails. "Hey Blondie."

"Morning." she answered, sitting at her desk she turned on her computer.

Danny noticed short and non cheerful greeting , but he didn't ask questions. He liked his privacy so he respected others. Besides, his phone started to ring.

"Taylor." he answered, and a minute later his handsome features became hard. "How bad?"

Both Sam and Martin turned to him, whenever someone asked that it was never good.

After a thank you he hung up and stood, while he put his coat on he said. " I have to go, tell Jack I'll be back soon."

"Everything okay?" Martin asked.

"Uh, yeah, I just have to check on a friend." He didn't say any more than that before grabbing his cell and heading outside.

He walked down the hospitals long hall and looked for room 121, a frown was set on his face.A nurse was coming out of the room and he stopped her."How is she?" He asked.

"She's stable."

"Well what the hell happened?" He was angry at the lack of information he was getting.

"She tried to kill herself."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Of course I don't own Without a Trace, I wish I did "sigh". anyhow, pls don't sue me, I don't have any money anyway.

Timeline: right now. I'm trying to keep it as close to the show as I can.

a/n. I'm sorry if I don't update very often, I've been so busy lately I hardly have time to sleep, but I promise I'll do my best to keep at it. hope you enjoy the next chapter: )

Chapter 2

"Now there's tears

on the pillow

Darlin' were we slept,

and you took my heart

when you left

without your sweet kiss my soul is lost, my friend

tell me how do I begin again?

my city's in ruins."

Sam was leaning on the balcony railing looking at the tall buildings she was slowly getting tired of. If she thought she could get the nerve up she would probley leave New York, start over some place new. She sometimes thought about Boston or even California, she didn't have anything holding her back, and it would be a kind of release to get away. But she new she couldn't leave, her job was the only thing that truly kept her going, but she had to admit to herself, her job wasn't the only thing keeping her here. A certain blue eyed agent wouldn't let her move on. She told herself every morning it was over, they would never be together, but her heart had an annoying way of not listening to a word she said.

"Sam?" she turned to see Martin in the doorway, "We have a case."

"Okay, thanks." She sighed before following him inside.

At their desks she noticed all but one agent was there. "Danny's not back yet?"

"No, but he's on his way." Elena answered. "He better hurry or Jack will have his ass."

"Do you know what that was all about with his friend?" Sam asked.

"I know as much as you do." She answered.

Sam nodded and looked up at the picture Viv was hanging on the whiteboard. When she saw it her expression was a mix of surprise and rapidly growing fear. Martin noticed and looked from her to the picture she was staring at.

"Sam, you alright?" He asked, and now Viv and Elena had noticed.

"I, I...that's him, that's Chris."

"You know him?" martin asked, eyes wide with surprise.

"Yes, I mean, I did... he broke it off last night."

"Did you see him?" Viv asked professionally.

"No, he left a message on my machine." She answered absently, trying to process what she'd just found out. "He sounded fine, I mean not fine, but he didn't sound in trouble."

"Look, Sam, you need to go talk to Jack first." Martin told her.

"Yeah, I know." she tried to remain calm as she headed to Jacks office.

a/n I know it's realy short but i'm getting it together.more soon: )


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Without a Trace isn't mine...la la la, don't sue me...blah blah blah...

a/n thanks for the reviews, they are always welcome: )

Chapter 3

"As only New Yorkers know, if you can get through the twilight, you'll live through the night."

Dorothy Parker.

Danny rushed down the hall hoping he wasn't in trouble with Jack about not being around when someone disappears. He stopped when he saw a familiar face coming towards him.

"Polly, I haven't seen you in awhile." He greeted her with a smile.

"Hey Danny, it's good to see you, but I'm afraid it's not just a social call."

"Well, I didn't think you'd come to see me at work if it was." He said with a very small smile. "It's about Kristin huh?"

"Yeah, what the hell happened? She seemed to be doing so good."

"Apparently not. She tried to kill herself with a razor blade."

"Oh my God." She sighed.

"She'll be alright, at least physically."

"What are you going to do? She's an adult now, the state can't help her anymore."

"You mean the state doesn't care about her now." He smirked but it wasn't a joke.

"You know how it goes Danny. We do the best we can, I know it's not always enough."

It was Danny's turn to sigh. "I guess she'll stay with me for awhile, she won't like it but I think that's the best thing for her."

Polly recognized the sad and disappointed look that he got when something like this happened.

"Danny, you knew when you took in this girl it was a very long shot, and the progress she made really was amazing."

"Yeah, well I don't think that matters much now." He ran a hand through his hair. "I really thought I could help her, you know."

Polly put a hand on his arm. "I know, but you can't give up, there's still time to help her."

"We'll see." was all he said.

"You can't try to help everyone Danny, you'll just end up being really disappointed."

"Tell me about it." He smiled sadly.

"Why do you think you owe everyone something? What have you done that you think you have to repay people for it." She asked.

Danny looked down for a second as if he was thinking of a good answer.

"I'm not all I'm cracked up to be." He finally said.

Polly put her hand on his cheek as she often did in parting. "Your a good person Danny, and your the only one who doesn't see it."

"Maybe." he smiled. "I have to get back to work, I'll see you around."

"Yeah, take care of yourself."

-------------------------------------

Jack looked up from the papers he was reading to see Sam standing in the doorway.

"Something wrong?" he asked when he saw her face.

Sam stood in front of his desk. "Um, it's about our missing person."

"what about him?"

"I know him" she tried to keep her voice from shaking.

Jack looked at her with new interest. "You know him?"

"Yeah, we were going out for awhile. he called last night and told me it was over, that was the last time I heard from him."

Jack let out a long breath. "Okay, you know what's going to happen right?"

Sam looked up quickly. " Your going to treat me like a suspect? Jack, come on, you know I had nothing to do with this."

"Yes I know that, but if you were anybody else you'd be the first person we'd look at."

"If you call the apartment manager he'll tell you I came in at two in the morning and left at seven thirty, I've been here ever since."

Jack nodded. " He left his house at eight in the morning and never made it to work, you were here before then so you'll be cleared soon, but until then I need you to go to the break room, and stay there."

"Yeah, okay." She headed out.

Ten minutes later she was back at her desk looking through Chris's notes about his last story.

"Got anything?" Martin asked after awhile.

"Um, most of it's in some sort of code he must have made up so no one could get his story, but it sounds like he was looking into illegal diamonds."

"Blood diamonds? That's pretty heavy stuff, if he was about expose people he could be in a lot of trouble."

"He says something about child labor. A diamond store importing kids and making them work in shops while their parents dig up the rocks halfway around the world, I've heard about it."

"Does he mention any stores or names?"

"No but he wrote down 'Ocean Danger' a lot."

"Okay I'll check out the local jewelry stores specializing in imported diamonds." Martin said heading to his desk.

Sam was still reading his notes twenty minutes later when Martin called over to her.

"Sam, come look at this."

"Got something?" She stood behind him and looked over his shoulder.

"Yeah check this out, there's about eighty diamond stores around here that seem right but then I thought of what he wrote down, 'Ocean Danger', and so I checked to see which ones import their rocks on ships, and only three came up."

"What are the owners names?"

Martin clicked the mouse and brought them up. "Stan Lennon, Mike Duffy, and John Trepp."

"Trepp...Trepperland, what's the address for Trepp's store?"

"Uh, two twenty-three Palmerland street."

"That's it! He put the name and address together. That's the place he was investigating."

"Let's go." He said grabbing his coat.


	4. Chapter 4

ahh,...finally some peace and quiet, wish I didn't have to wait till after midnight to get some "sigh" anyway I hope everyone likes what I've done so far, pls review and let me know, constructive criticism is greatly welcomed. hugs to all :)

"The good guys are like sand. Sticks around for awhile and then slips through your fingers."

unknown

Chapter 4

"Are you aware Mr. Ryan was about to publish a story about your store importing blood diamonds?" Sam asked with self control that was almost run dry.

"I had no idea ." the woman answered with acted surprise. "But I assure you any accusations are completely false."

"Then why was he writing about it?" Martin asked.

"I don't know." the woman said slowly as if Sam and Martin weren't to bright." Maybe you should ask him"

"That would be a little difficult considering he's missing." Martin said bluntly.

Her eyes flashed with a hint of surprise but otherwise the short heard, wealthy woman was a stone.

"And you think I had something to do with it?"

"Have you ever spoken to Mr. Ryan?" Sam answered with a question.

"No."

"We have a warrant to search your store." Martin said handing her a paper.

The first sign of worry crossed her face. "You'll have to talk to my husband first, he owns the building."

"Yes, but he gave you the title, your the one who runs this place. Now stay right here." Martin told her as he and Sam headed to the back of the store. Sam kept her hand on her gun as they went down a hall and to a door on the right. When Martin opened the door they weren't entirely ready for what was behind it. Desks were set up like a school room and kids were sitting at them but they weren't learning anything besides how to cut diamonds. Sam quickly drew her gun on the only adult in the room. Martin soon followed.

"Keep your hands were I can see them." He said loudly and a dozen or so kids looked up at them.

Sam holstered her gun and took out her handcuffs. "Turn around and put your hands behind your back."

The man did as he was told without saying a word but his expression showed more anger than words could have done. Martin called the police department as he looked at all the kids looking at him and figured most of them probley didn't speak English. He finished his call and followed Sam out the door into the hall where they met the store owner who Martin cuffed and read her her rights.

"Now do you want to talk to me about Ryan?" He asked.

"I'm not saying a word to you without my lawyer."

"Yeah i bet."

Sam stood in front of Jack's desk fuming. "Why are you not letting me question her?"

"You already know why Sam, you have an attachment to the victim. I can't just let you in a room with someone who more than likely had something to do with his disappearance."

"Had, Jack, _had_ an attachment."

"Either way your considered emotionally involved and I'm not taking chances." His voice had grown more demanding.

"What chances, Jack? I'm not stupid, I know how to control myself and I don't remember you doing this to Danny when his brother went missing ,even when he literally jumped over a table and assaulted a suspect." She was aware her voice was rising but didn't feel like calming down.

"This is different." Jack responded.

"How, how the hell is it different?"

"Because you haven't been yourself for a long time, Sam."

Sam was caught off guard and it took her a moment to react, when she did, her tone was softer.

"What are you talking about?"  
"You think Elena didn't tell me about the guy you exploded on for no reason?"

"I had a rea-" she began but Jack cut her off.

"It's not just that, I've noticed you space out sometimes, you look tired every morning, and you seem to just get threw the day."

"And?"

"And that's not you, at least not the Sam I knew." There eyes locked for a second before Sam looked away.

"Okay." she gave in. "I'll stay away."

She walked away before he had a chance to say anything else. She knew he was right, she wasn't the same person she used to be and she didn't think she could control herself if someone pushed her, but to know that he knew somehow made it more real to her and she wondered what he was going to do about it, if anything. She sat at her desk silently reading phone records for the diamond store and ignored the looks Elena was sending her way after seeing her walk angrily out of Jacks office. Twenty minutes later Martin found Sam on the balcony for the second time that day.

"Hey." he said coming up beside her and leaning on the rail.

"Hey, did you talk to the guy that was in the store?"

"Yeah, he said Chris was there asking questions a few times and saw him and Teller arguing yesterday, he says she threatened Chris numerous times."

"Is Danny still questioning her?"

"Yeah. Viv is checking out both their alibis now."

"I guess no matter what happens the diamond store will still be taken down." she said sadly.

"You don't think we'll find him?"

"I don't know." she said quietly.

Martin looked at her thoughtfully. "You really care about him don't you?"

"Not enough, he still left." She brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "I don't blame him though."

"It doesn't always have to be your fault, you know?" He said trying to make her feel better.

"It _was_ my fault Martin, he was one of the nicest men I could ever dream of being with and I blew it to hell, I treated us like second place."

Martin couldn't help but think of another relationship she'd made second place.

"Maybe when this is all over you can tell him that." He said almost sadly. "You never know, maybe he would see he made a really big mistake."

Sam looked up at him and realized she had said more than she'd ever intended. "We should go back in."

Slightly embarrassed she went passed him and back inside, Martin sighed before following her.

Danny was getting a cup of coffee from the break room after questioning their suspect. He was adding sugar when a familiar hand touched his back.

"You want one?" he asked.

"No, I'm getting a water." Elena answered and went to the fridge for a bottle. "Long day huh?"

Danny took a sip from his mug. "Yeah."

"Are you going to tell me what happened this morning?"

"I was going to later."

"You seemed kind of upset when you got back."

"Just disappointed."

"About what?"  
"The friend I was talking about is a girl I tried to help out a few years ago, her name is Kristin, her parents died when she was fourteen, and her dad was a good friend of mine. I couldn't stand the thought of her being in the system so I let her stay with me."

"You adopted her?" Elena asked with a very surprised face.

"No, I have a friend who works at CPS and she pulled some strings for me to be her permanent foster parent. It's almost the same thing except I'm not completely responsible for her. When she turned eighteen she moved out, I got her an apartment and she seemed to be doing fairly good until this morning."

"What happened?" She asked, realizing Danny had an even bigger heart than she thought.

"She tried to kill herself. The hospital called a few minutes ago and said she had drugs and alcohol in her system, I guess that's what drove her to it."

"I'm so sorry Danny."

"So am I." he sighed. "I should've gone to see her more often, kept a better eye on her."

"It's not your fault." she told him. "She would've probley tried this a lot sooner if it wasn't for you."

Danny smiled and leaned down to give her a kiss. "Thank you."

"I'm sure it'll work out." she tried to ignore the kisses he was planting on her neck.

"I'm sure it will." he pulled her closer and rested his hands on her hips. "Did you get your mom to baby-sit?" he mumbled in her ear.

"Yes, you can come over after eight." she answered before leaning into him and returning his kiss.

He had just opened his mouth to let her tongue gain access when his phone began to ring.

"Damn it." he groaned before reaching for his cell that was hooked to his belt and Elena stepped back and took a drink of her water. Danny listened a minute before hanging up.

"I have to go pick up a suspect." He gave her a final kiss on the cheek before leaving.

love it? hate it? want to strangle me yet? pls review: )


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